Were you fooled?

Surprise! We are actually pregnant! No joke, no fooling, no trickery.

We told our families this weekend after keeping out little secret for about two weeks. Which if you know me, you know that a pretty good amount of time. I am about 6 weeks and due sometime in late November. The baby and Charlie will be about 22 months apart. I know, wow you guys are crazy. But, this baby is a super special surprise gift from the Lord and we couldn't be more thrilled!

We told our families this past weekend and it was such a memorable experience. We had pictures done last Wednesday and used some of them to surprise our families. Here are some of them:

We told Scott's family Saturday night after we had eaten a delicious roast beef dinner. They were all so excited and surprised by our "Easter card" we gave them. I am so sad that I don't have any pictures of telling them!

The card on the front said, "We've been keeping a secret..." On the inside "Our Bickley bunch is getting bigger because baby # 3 is due in November!

 My family we told before Easter lunch. Telling them was a bit more eventful because we told them in a slightly different way. We were taking family pictures and I insisted my sisters and I take a picture together. They begrudgingly obliged and we sat on the fireplace. At that point in time Scott passed out the cards to the spouses and my Mom and Dad. It was so chaotic though with all the kids and my hungry pregnant sisters that I finally just yelled as Ben took the picture of the three of us, "SMILE! This may be the ONLY time we are pregnant together!" And this is what I got...

They then said, "WHAT? You're kidding?!?" and then I repeated and yelled (because my Mom didn't hear me) "SMILE, THIS MAY BE THE ONLY TIME WE WILL BE PREGNANT TOGETHER!" Then I got this, with some hugs and tears.

And finally we got this. The three of us pregnant, in order (Beth's due in May, Rebecca in August, and me in November) for a picture together. Such a sweet, forever memorable picture.



My Dad's reaction was the best. He didn't realize I had just announced I was pregnant and finally read the card right before he prayed to bless the food. His prayer was full of love and the sweetest holding back of tears as he thanked God for his grand babies the ones here and the ones coming. I will never forget it.



So there you go, it's true. No fooling, no trickery. Just a little blessing, a little life.

Here's me at six weeks!


Just kidding... That's the belly thing at Motherhood Maternity, I thought it was kind of funny. :)

Indeed it was a Good Friday

Tonight I was driving home from Ross and "Christ is Risen" by Matt Maher came on. The first time I heard this song was on a Sunday morning in the worship service. I remember seeing so many faces in the choir with smiles and bopping and swaying to this song that speaks in so much volume. Since then I have only heard it a hand full of times and each time have been struck to weeping. I just weep when I hear this song. One time it was weeping in distress of being a parent and the difficulties of life, another was remembering the cross and what Jesus Christ did for my sin that day, and I think one time I remember just weeping because musically it is a beautiful song, pleasing to the ears. But today I wept with joy because of a different reason.

As we all know the debate of redefining marriage and marriage equality has been plastered all over the internet and even lots of cars too ;). I don't want to debate it because I think if a mind was to be changed it would not be because of my blog. But just so we are clear, I am NOT unintelligent as to what the Bible says about homosexuality. I am not really even to unintelligent about the Bible. I in no way know it right to left at least not the Old Testament, (any body get that joke?) but I read the Bible and whole heartily believe it to be truthful and inspired by God. It is a sin. Forget the Old Testament argument and look into the New Testament. If you regard the whole Bible to be truly inspired by God, then you can't look past Paul's letters and say there is nothing in the NT about homosexuality  If you don't regard the Bible to be inspired by God then we have a bigger issue, we don't believe the same Bible, so our debating is pointless. On, and on and on, but that's not why I am writing!

When I listened to this song, my heart was full of this "Redefine marriage all you want, let sin reign even more in this corrupt world because death has lost it's sting to me!" I don't live for this world. Christ will still come back and will still stand in front of me when I am before the Lord. Even if this world tries to redefine marriage and become more corrupt this world can not take away my victory that is won in Christ! Hell, where is your victory? In winning a battle over what God has clearly commanded? Then win it, because hell you are not my future or my hope. No my hope is in the fact that Sunday when I go to worship I will worship a risen Savior, who conquered death, who paid my ransom, so I can live and hope in the glory of being one with God. I praise the Lord that I have been redeemed by Jesus' wounds and blood shed. I pray that those who don't know the depth of God's love for them and the depth of His wrath to come without knowing his Son, would humbly come to know Christ.

Thank you Lord for Good Friday!

My not so pretty, very ugly bathroom.

When Scott and I bought the house we live in back in 2008 we knew there would be some updates that would need to be done. We talked about how, well really I talked and Scott listened, we could combine the two bathrooms in our house to make one master bath and add a new bathroom from the hall closet... Yada, yada, blah, blah, blah, reality sunk in a few years later that we would probably never afford to do such a major renovation like that, let alone would we want to put that much money in a home college students would probably eventually destroy.

Back when we first moved, I settled for this... Red walls. It was eh. Boring and just really an eye sore.


When I got pregnant with Charlie in 2011 I on a spur of the moment thought, is there any other way to?,
decided to paint the tile and it looked like this... Not too bad, could be worse but made it look slightly better.
Oh yeah so sometime between those two paint jobs I also tore a hole in the wall because I thought I had enough ambition to knock the tile out. I stopped shortly after remembering there is electricity and it was solid concrete walls. Yikes!

This brings us to 2013! I, being the pinterest addict I am, was browsing and saw a bead boarded bathroom and thought, why couldn't I do that in my bathroom? I have no shower, so there is not moisture in the air for possible mold to grow on the tile behind the bead board. Why not?? So I began planning and budgeting, saved my pennies in my piggy bank and hopped to getting to work.

Phase one: FLOORS and LIGHT FIXTURE
I used Traffic Master Allure peel and stick in stock Cherry wood planks. They were so easy to use and look great they were also AWESOME for the price. $40 for a new floor.
Things I learned:
1.) Don't use sewing scissors  to cut the planks. Get the right tools. They did work but the right tools worked even better!
2.) I was able to finish the floors in two nap times and an hour on a Saturday, but if you have uninterrupted  time it is best to knock it all out, the adhesive starts to stick to things and gets less sticky. Also check Costco for light fixtures, the one I got was just what I was looking for, for $12.95!
3.) Really think about the best use of your planks, think about the sides that you cut in proportion to what end will be seen from the eye.
4.) Don't attach the vanity to the wall until you are ALL the way done with it.
5.) You have to put a new wax seal on the toilet every time you lift it up, so think first before moving it.
6.) Light fixtures are easy, all you need to do is turn the light off, learned that trick from my Dad who knows his electrical rules. Just put a piece of tape over the light switch so no one turns it on and zaps you, and then you fall and get hurt.

Phase two: SINK.
HA. This was supposed to be easy. This was the last problem on my list but quickly became a pain in my rear. I lifted the sink to remove it from the wall and I broke the pipe to the drain pipe. In my defense these pipes were about 60 something years old. Out with the old end with the new pipes I say!
Things I learned:
1.) Gently take things off or away from the perspective place, they can get temperamental.
2.) I am not a plumber. Ladies we are NOT plumbers. Just face it and be OK with it.
3.) A new sink does wonders.



Phase three: BEAD BOARD WALLS.
This was what I was waiting to do! I was so excited to get rid of the tile look from 1954. I used the 4 X 8 sheets of bead board because our tile was about 5 ft up the wall. I cut the right height and width  and then gave all the pieces a couple coats of white paint. The back wall with the sink and toilet was too big for one sheet so I had two pieces. That was difficult because apparently I can't cut in a straight line... I used the 800 times nail glue, I think that was the strength, by making lines up and down and side to side on the bead board and squished to the wall. A few walls were picky and bowed out and that was frustrating. But a part of life and so I moved on and caulk has taken care of the boo boos.
Things I learned:
1.) Cut in a straight line.
2.) Bead Board will rip, so make sure to have some one to hold the end of it while you cut, my van and my knee was my helper, I'd suggest maybe a real person.
3.) Caulk really can pix boo boos so don't be too worried.
4.) Apply a lot of pressure for a good amount of time, 20-30 minutes if not longer,  to the piece you are gluing to the wall.
5.) Do the hardest wall first, and be very careful to measure twice or even three times!
6.) Cut the bead board a little past the top of the tile so that your molding will sit over it.


Phase four: MOLDING
My budget was low so my molding consisted of a 2x4 stud that could eventually have prettier molding added to it. I had to use a 2x4 to make sure the molding would be deep enough to cover the gap from the protruding tile. Cut the pieces, and then painted them a ton before putting on the wall. Then I used a nail gun to nail them to the wall. Well actually Scott did, I can't stand the loud noise.
Things I learned:
1.) I hate the loud noise of the power tools.
2.) Wear your safety goggles, just in case.
3.) Do many coats of paint the wood soaks in A LOT.

Phase five: FINISH UP CAULKING AND PLUMBING
After all this was dried I caulked above the molding and below, the window seal, around the vanity, and any gaps from my not so straight cutting.
Things I learned:
1.) Seriously caulk can fix ANY thing.
2.) Plumbing is hard and prepare to be frustrated and make a bazillion trips to Lowes for supplies.
3.) Look back and smile and the work you did. It will look good!


Phase six: BASEBOARDS AND QUARTER ROUND
Haven't done this yet... Will update.

All in all I am so happy with how the bathroom turned out. I am DONE renovating it... I think... at least for these next few years. I worked with the cash I had and I am soo glad I didn't go beyond what I had. It is very rewarding to know that this was done within our means and by my own hands. Things I learned from the whole process:
1.) Love me a took belt. I got one from my Daddy for Christmas and wore it often. It was so nice to have all my tools right there.
2.) Measure twice and then measure again. It's better to haul the piece back and forth until you get it right than to cut it too short the first time and have wasted material.
3.) Have patience with your spouse if you have a vision they just can't see. They will in the end when it's done :)
4.) Always expect for the unexpected. : )
5.) Put your mind to it and do it!

 

2012 In a Nutshell

I thought I was done with blogging. Time, energy, guilt of not updating, and tend to over share are some of my reasons I stopped. Plus the holidays came around and I forgot! But I have been getting the "itch" to write again. An incredible amount of significant events happened in 2012 that I want to be able to look back and remember just how FAR God has brought my family and me. So here goes... 2012 in a nutshell!

January:

Charlie. My precious son was born on the 15th. He stole my heart from that first little velociraptor cry he gave. His labor and delivery was a remarkable, indescribable experience. I will have to blog about later. He was born and our hearts were heavy with joy. He is still incredible. Love that handsome goober.  But he shortly after birth was proving to have middle child syndrome and not even be a middle child yet! The day after we brought him home from the hospital we went in for our Dr. visit and were sent to get blood tests for jaundice. We ended up back in the hospital within a few hours and my little baby was in glow worm status. He was under the mosquito trap lights just for a night (or maybe two... I honestly can't remember  which is crazy because in he midst of the difficulties I thought I would always remember) and we were able to get home the next evening. Exhausted. I should also add that night we got home, Lucy fell out of her toddler bed and I as Mommy bear (four days after having Charlie, stitches and all jumped out of bed and quickly swooped her up and held her tight as she cried). Just one of those things I remember. We were at the Dr with him pretty much every day checking his billi levels and weight (he also was having trouble gaining weight) until he was about 10 days old. 

Scott. My awesome, handsome, wonderful man. He also stole my heart again in 2012. At the end of January he interviewed for a new job with a different company with "better hours" and closer to home. He actually had an interview while we were still in the hospital with Charlie after he was born. To be continued...

February:

Charlie. Wide eyed, sweet son spit up a lot. Like more than babies should. He struggled to get rid of his jaundice for a few weeks and we continued to struggle to figure out how to get him to gain weight. I was pumping and feeding every 2-3 hours, but still needed to supplement with formula. At three weeks his spitting up became significant after every feeding he would projectile everything he ate. Which was incredibly difficult to watch and frustrating seeing all the golden nursing milk be spit up. Finally the first Friday of February my Mommy instincts said something it NOT right. This is not just reflux, every time I laid him down it all came out, and even if there was nothing he just spit up. Took him to the doctors and was told he would need to be admitted to the hospital to get to the bottom of this since he had lost a few ounces since his last visit two days ago (yes we were going that often). So I very sadly and exhausted drove to the hospital (called Scott who was in between jobs to come meet me.) We were admitted and he continued to spit up. This time even before I fed him. The next day the doctors were able to do a barium swallow to tell us whether or not he had what is called Pyloric Stenosis or bad reflux. As he drank the white chalk and the x-ray tech did the examination he proceeded to vomit the bottle up and she said, "yes , surgery is needed it's pyloric stenosis." The easiest explanation is this, the pylorus muscle is at the base of his stomach and it is supposed to expand and contract to let food go through. Well his was squeezed shut and food could not pass. All that was required was to make a little cut in the muscle to loosen it up. By this point in time he looks miserable. I can still remember those droopy little eyes just barely staying awake to look at me. He was so hungry, but seemed to be in so much pain because of all the strain on his throat. My little guy was just helpless. God was so good to us though. Within three hours of that test the operating room was miraculously open on a Saturday afternoon, the surgeon was ready, and they were ready to take him in for surgery. He went in, my little baby just THREE weeks old! The surgery only lasted about an hour and he was sent back up to us after two hours. From then on we had to go from feeding him very minimal amounts to 30 cc, but if he spit up at all we had to go back down to the previous feeding amount. When he successfully ate it without spitting up he was free to go. After four nights in the hospital we came home! 

Lucy. Sweetest big sister ever. I am so glad kids are resilient. She had so much transitioning to do. New bed, slept over at my parents for at least a week in the last two months, had a new brother, and had to share Mommy and Daddy. She had this nagging cough for a while. Unfortunately while Charlie was in the hospital for his surgery it turned into croup which a few days later almost turned into phenomena. Between Charlie in the hospital and Lucy sick it was rough. I ended up staying home with Lucy the night before he came home so she could get some rest, HA! Any one ever given a steroid medicine to a one year old! She was wired in the middle of the night! It was nice though to have some time with her, just the two of us even if it was 3 am.

Scott. BEST HUSBAND and DAD EVER! He was supposed to start his new job the Monday when Charlie was admitted to the hospital. So this means we were without insurance for the time Charlie was in the hospital and his surgery. We have paid the bills off, but God provided for us we were considered a teaching case, can't remember what it is called, so we didn't have to pay for our room or stay in the hospital, just the surgeon and anesthesia. The first week of his new job, our amazing, sweet Nana went to be with the Lord. We were so thankful she wasn't in pain anymore, missing her beloved husband, and with the Lord. But it sure felt like the cherry to top off our start to the new year. 

Me. What can I say, I was exhausted, trying to heal, heart breaking that I was not there for my little girl, taking care of my little son who needed me, exhausted, sore, anxious, scared, did I mention absolutely exhausted. Motherhood with two hit me hard! The guilt of not being there for Lucy, and longing to be with her, but wanting to bond with Charlie and getting to know him. Nursing also was not going well. I so desperately wanted to nurse with Charlie. I nursed Lucy for about four months and I desired to nurse Charlie  longer. But with all the pumping, lack of him nursing, and stress of him not gaining weight I gave it up after he was four weeks. Such a let down, no pun intended for my BF Mommas ;). I just wanted to be able to have that connection with him, but I felt like his newborn stage was just stripped from me. It's still a struggle I have to remind myself to say that God is GOOD, in ALL things. That means ALL things. 

March to June:

These months were semi uneventful minus Scott working ridiculous hours we were NOT prepared for. As well as we were sick like this whole time. I mean we were in the doctors office like once a week! God is so good again though, that we really do love our doctors office. We continued to adjust to having two kids and I would have to say the adjustment up to that point hadn't been to bad, average I would say. Tiring, yes, but a time of growth.

June:

Started out a great month. My birthday, Lucy's second birthday, Scott and I's fifth anniversary. By the end of the month I crashed. I remember it very well, we went in for Lucy's two year check up and I was incredibly anxious. I had started to struggle again with anxiety and panic attacks the last month. I talked to our Dr and he said it sounded like I had some postpartum depression. He prescribed me something, which up until this point I have not tried medicine. You can read about my personal convictions on that somewhere on this blog.  I went home and took it. I completely broke down. I couldn't get out of bed, take care of the kids, eat, or function. For four days I struggled like this. But God is GOOD. He is good because He knew that some point in time I would need a person to allow the Holy Spirit to speak through them and that person was my sister, Beth. I went to her house and sat on her porch and just cried. I said, "Beth I don't want to do this anymore! I am so tired of being anxious, why won't God heal me? He has all the power to, why won't He?" And she read my from Romans 8:28 " God works ALL things for the GOOD of those who know Him and called according to His purposes." Do you believe this is true, do you believe that God is working all your struggles for His good and His purpose and plan. Do you believe that what Christ did on the cross is enough to take the burden of your sin of anxiety and worry? Because what Christ did IS enough." We talked some more about suffering and we prayed. One day I will blog more about it. From then on I have stopped blaming God and asking Him to heal me. Because I KNOW He is working all things for my good. Christ has defeated death and I no longer have to carry the burden of being healed or restored in this world, God will bring restoration to my body when I go to be with Him. The anxiety is NOT gone, and it is still difficult to deal with, but I let God's truth, not lies from Satan, penetrate my heart and thoughts.  

July-August:

Semi uneventful too, Lucy is now two and acting it too. We begin a new chapter of parenting, which brings its new challenges. 

September:

Lucy started preschool two days a week in the mornings, she loves it!

October:

It became very obvious to us that Scott was about to be laid off of his job. Two days before Halloween he and a group of his co workers were laid off for lack of work. Bluh. That's all I have to say about this situation. We started praying God where do you want us? We are at a crossroads, where do we go? God is good, we sought Him and He answered. Scott was offered a job at his first job, in a new position. We love this workplace, FSU Bb is our work family! They were there when we started college, got engaged, married, and had Lucy. We just love them! So glad he was able to go back. 

December:

What a good month, our sweet niece Addy was born by John and Dani Su, Scott's sister and brother in law came into town and we found out BOTH of my sisters are pregnant!

2012 was a testing year. A new baby, health problems, loss, changing jobs three jobs, breakdowns, job loss, and a lot of doctor visits were things I look back on and just make me want to weep. But I can't stay there long before seeing how GREAT and AMAZING the Lord I serve is. He is the healer, teacher, life giver, Almighty. He has sustained me and continues to. He IS working all things for His good. He has provided amazing family, friends, and church body. I guess this blog post is a little wrong so if you stopped reading that's OK. Its for me. To see as a reminder of how far God can take me when I let Him use me for his purposes. Thank you Lord for 2012, but welcome 2013! 

This is a video of Charlie when he was about eight months. It is one of my favorites. 

A Generation in Need of Help!

Recently, I have been really distraught by my generation and the generation ahead of me. I feel like we are under the impression that we don't need to learn from our elders. We know best. It's so prideful. I know this is going to step on toes and although I do not mean to offend it probably will.

What happened to learning from those who have gone before us? Why do men my age think that they should start a new, with the times, church? Why can't they go and learn under some very great Pastors that can mentor and help cultivate their hearts so they can grow in ministry? Why can't people who have kids lay down their pride and say you know what I don't know everything and stop questioning people put into leadership with proper training and who have experienced raising children!

Give it up! Set aside your pride and listen (this is me telling myself too) I have so much to learn and those who are older than me, I mean 50's and up (no offense to the 30's and 40's).  I should be on my toes waiting to hear what they have to say. My Grandma every week tells me a story about her past or something she used to do with her kids or a meal she would cook, how she would clean something. Listen! I need to listen to her, she has been there done that! So stop thinking you know everything and LISTEN!

If I would listen to half the things my Mom says to me I would be in good shape. She has the best advice/wisdom and she knows her stuff. If I would just listen more I could learn so much!

To my generation and the one ahead, stop trying to know it all and LISTEN!

OK, I am done with m rant. Sorry, it is my blog and from the beginning I said I would be straight up.

What a week.

Seriously I have to say this has been one of the worst weeks Scott and I have had in a while. We are totally worn down and though I know it could be worse, and I am thankful it is not, it still was a very long week.

Monday started out pretty good. I didn't feel great, my back was hurting and I was cramping some butI just chalked it up to baby Charlie being well a baby in my tummy. So I went to my Grandma's house to hand out and help her around her house. I ended up leaving 45 minutes after getting there just not feeling great. Back pain was getting a little worse and Lucy being fussy, for the fourth week in a row may I add, I decided to go home and rest. Got home rested and the back pain and cramping persisted.

About 11:00am Lucy woke up and I was determined we were going to go on a picnic so I got up and got her, but I started having really painful cramping in my lower abdomen and back. I kept trying to say it will pass, I'm just sore. But after getting in the car we immediately got out and went back in. I began to have what felt like contractions. If you have had a baby there is no mistaking it. It started in my lower back and just wrapped around to my stomach, and my stomach felt hard. I felt like maybe OK it's just bad gas... What I'm pregnant? I called my doctors office, then Scott, and then my Mom. I couldn't seem to get comfortable an it did not pass with a trip to the potty...

About 30 minutes after calling my doctor with no reply, my Mom and I decided it was time to go to Triage. What I was feeling was intense and scary and not right. So we dropped off Lucy at Beth's house and headed to the Women's Pavillion. Which was a great! It wasn't busy, it was quiet, and they brought me back within 20 minutes. They took a urine sample and hooked me up to the itchy contraction machine. Although I KNOW I was having contractions they weren't showing up which was utterly frustrating. But the nurse said I may not have been far enough along to pick up the contractions. They believe the Mommy over the monitor :)

I gotta say driving to the hospital and sitting waiting to see the doctor I was utterly convicted with guilt for the way I have been acting towards this pregnancy. I kept thinking I was losing Charlie. I am only 20 weeks, well 21 now, and there is such a low chance he would survive if he is born now. I was just hit with sadness and guilt. I have been such a complainer about this pregnancy. Yes, there are some really unpleasant things, but all to often I have neglected to say "Thank you GOD for this precious little boy you have given me!" The thought of losing him was just heartbreaking. Definitely a wake up call.

Once the doctor came in he told me there was a lot of blood in my urine (sorry I don't know how else I can put it?) So basically I just had a super bad urinary tract infection or a kidney stone. Thank goodness we are pretty sure there is no kidney stone, pretty sure we would know by now. But because my uterus sits on my bladder the infection was causing the contractions. Phew! What a sigh of relief Scott and I gave when we found out that was all! Baby Charlie's heart beat sounded great and he didn't seem to be disturbed by the little earthquake going on around him.

Got some antibiotics and thought OK this will all be over soon. Nope. Monday night Lucy woke up a few times and was really stuffed up, but tylenol seemed to help her. Tuesday morning I woke up feeling miserable. I couldn't get up out of bed. What? Mommy's don't get sick days! Luckily my Dad and sister tag teamed watching Lucy and I got some needed rest. Feeling better that evening I thought I was on the mend... When Lucy, poor baby, decided to cut four teeth. She was up until 3:30am crying and fussing, stuffed up from her sinus's, and teeth hurting her like crazy. Needless to say Wednesday I called the Dr. We have been dealing with little Lucy not sleeping and tugging at her ears and being stuffed up for over 3 weeks. They prescribed us some antibiotics and we didn't have to come in! Thank the Lord! We have already been twice this month for the same problem! I am so happy we have finally gotten antibiotics! She is still on the mend and has one more tooth coming through so maybe we are on the tail end of this!

Wednesday was worse than Tuesday, just because my back has been killing me! I was convinced that the infection had moved to my kidney. My Dr told me to double my water and keep taking antibiotics. Well I can say they know what they are doing, I tripled my water intake and have taken all my antibiotics and can honestly say I woke up this morning feeling an insane amount better, Thank ya Jesus!! My back went from barely able to sit, to being just fine. Antibiotics are great but God is good and the ultimate healer! Hopefully, the antibiotics got all the infection, but I am encouraged by the progress one night made!

It may not seem like that rough of a week to some, but it's been a long few months for Scott and me. I keep telling Scott, when are we just going to hit the bottom of the well. There has to be an end. We have a far distance to climb out! Still working on that attitude, but I know deep inside God has a purpose for all of this in our lives right now. Either way I am so thankful for Lucy and Charlie. They are a blessing. I love them. Well and Scott too! Thanks for reading and keep praying! God is in the works and I know He is looking out for our families best, even if it hurts.

Deterimined!

Yesterday was just right out depressing. I didn't feel good, Lucy was still a little fussy from getting over her sickness for the last two weeks and I was just weary and worn out! But, last night Scott and I were talking, ya know at midnight because that seems to be the only time we can have really good conversations is right before we sleep, and just decided that it was enough! It's OK sometimes to feel frustrated about life. God wants to hear it, He wants my honesty. But it't not OK to dwell on it and harvest it in my heart. Harvesting sin, is never a great crop and will ultimately rot and spoil my insides. So we decided last night, enough is enough!

Enough being a depressing Mommy that I have been. Some days are rough and most days I may be tired, but I gotta tough it out and move on. God is good and great and has given me an amazing family. Life is not fair, and we may not ever get ahead. I may never feel well rested again, but in Heaven I will have eternity to feel renewed. So this morning I got up, showered, drank my coffee, and had some breakfast. Got everything done that I needed to for my fam and am now about to go read some of the Word. Am I still tired, yes! Do I wish Lucy would just take a nap currently, yes! Do I want to crawl back into bed, yes! BUT, that's not what I need to be doing. I need to glorify God today and everyday in everything I do. So I'm gonna strive to push through and lean on the Lord for strength.

I am blogging about this because I really need to step it up. It's time for life to be lived to the fullest God has intended for me and my family. What better way to step up than to post it on the world wide web for accountability. Anyways, pray for patience and wisdom from God to help me get a right attitude.